History in Lyric (Pilot Episode)

Matt Hale! 

He bounced from World to World

Starting very long ago

He was strict and rough 

He never found a home 

By the new decade

He was warring with the law.

Then the mad creator died

No one was preaching race.

The seat was wide, unguarded

Anyone’s to claim!

Matt rebranded

He was a teacher 

The Creators decided 

He was a preacher!

Mad Klassen’s seat- 

He claimed. 

But the Pontificate 

Wasn’t such a lovely role. 

Matt was dreaming

He would be a racist lawyer

The bar snuffed out that flame! 

But the students 

Really loved their teacher.

The bar hated their God

So they hit the wrong spot armed!

Preacher Matt held back.

The media was creeping 

The world he did enrage. 

His rivals had a plan 

They found different creators

A separate church! 

Jewish creators!

The war began 

Only one could be the creators!

The judge came back 

She said the Jews had it first.

Preacher Matt! 

No longer a creator! 

A new name he did design. 

Preacher Matt! All he did was hate her!

Preacher Matt! 

He knew stewing in hatred

He couldn’t stop right there!

He had to get them back

They were calling him a hack!

He would leave the Judge flat!

The teacher went to one of his boys!

He quickly took the job!

Took it straight to the Cops! 

Oh Teacher Matt! 

He couldn’t get out of that.

The cops bust down the door! 

They drag the teacher away. 

They alleged a murder plot 

Hale couldn’t sweep away. 

This was trouble! 

Lawyers quickly tired of the preacher

and his endless claims. 

Matt Hale the great defeated preacher! 

Couldn’t rebrand that day! 

So Matt Hale was locked away!

First Fanfiction

 

“Alright so I will tell you this. That Brenner guy? You don’t work with that guy in fact he comes up to you and I tell you that you gotta run the other way, let me tell you what was goin on. 

So about 9 years ago this guy comes up to me sayin that he wants me for a job. He says the job is tracking down a 15 year old girl. Now I’ll tell ya a guy who shows up and tells you “I need a little girl” is a guy who will get you on the news with him both as pedophiles. Anyway so he’s saying he needs to find a girl I say why? He totally dodges it he says he’s gonna give me a million dollars………..I mean for a new guy that ain’t something you pass up so I take the job he’s telling me who this girl is she’s like an outlaw. 

So I get to work he’s constantly yelling at me on a burner phone he gave me I’m starting to hate this guy but then I get a lead I mean I see somebody like this girl hanging out sorta around Gary bout an hour out so I start tailing her. I find out she’s living with a single mom. she goes to high school, there are boys fighting over her & she really likes waffles and pancakes and that kind of thing. Now I’m really thinking something is going on with this dude & I got my advance I can go back to New York a rich man 100k that’s a lot in the Barrios I’d be the king. But I gotta be classy with it so I decide to basically just tell her what’s going on. 

So one night she’s sitting there at one of them diners that seems to be her favorite thing. I walk up to her & I tell her there are dudes looking for her she tenses up so hard it’s feeling like the air’s tensing up I start quickly saying “Nah nah nah I’m straight I’m good” she’s calming down don’t believe me though. 

Turns out she knew that creep that hired me! & he’d had her kidnapped for like 8 years! So I’m going crazy now and I’m real mad. I find that fellow & I kill him. I come home and enjoy my well earned money. 

And that’s how I got this suit

Xilongi Election

 The nation of Xilongi will go to the polls tomorrow amid rising tensions with China & a massive corruption scandal that left many of the top leaders in the longtime ruling Xilongi League imprisoned. The main opposition party which has been for a long time the Democratic Socialist “Socialists-Nationalists” has failed to capitalize as most voters leaving the Xilongi League are conservatives unwilling to support the S-N which has been portrayed as worse than the devil in League Advertisements since independence.

 With both parties not particularly popular the many disorganized minor parties of Xilongi have been the subject of a lot of attention but polls show an extremely close race between the League, Socialists & a new third party called the Xilongi Democratic Front formed by disgruntled former members of the League, despite the Front branding itself and being described by almost all voters as a liberal party to the left of the League the party is considered right wing populist in Western Media due to their radical anti-China sentiment & support for rolling back limited feminist reforms implemented by the last League government. 2 other parties look to be poised to enter parliament: “The New League” a party with almost identical policies to the League but aggressively anti-corruption. The final party which we believe based on polling will enter parliament is the “People’s Organization of Patriots” a far right party led by multiple members of the small ethno-nationalist fringe in Xilongi that has gained popularity by also portraying themselves as anti-corruption & similar to the League with an extra dash of promised anti-China posturing. 

Polls show these 5 parties will get into the congress a astonishing record for Xilongi & it is still difficult to say who will form government. 

Who do you think will form government?

Stay tuned for the results tomorrow at 1pm!

A Supposed Basilisk

 Roko’s Basilisk is an extremely imaginative & bizarre fictional idea created by an organization run by Eliezer Yudkowsky a radical atheist Ethnic Jew who has done little to nothing valuable in his life but has embarked on a long very aggressive crusade to spread his deep anxiety & sorrow about pain to the technology world. He has never said and currently is not saying anything substantively different or better than any other philosopher. The single unique theory to even come out of any of his organizations is Roko’s Basilisk an extremely convoluted & bizarre theory that is easily dismissed by any man or woman who is serious about philosophy. 

Roko’s Basilisk’s main claim states that if an all powerful ai were to be created that ai would travel back in time and torture torture did not actively further it which is patently absurd because unlike something like Pascal’s Wager if Roko’s Basilisk is not actively happening today there is no issue and it is useless to speak of because if an ai has not traveled back in title to torture all those who did not further it then no ai exists & shall exist in all of time. Also the idea of Roko’s Basilisk has been thoroughly hitlerized by the Violent Cult the Zizians.

What does it mean for an idea to be Hitlerized? Hitlerization states that if an idea causes a measurable amount of direct significant harm to people it is a poor idea. The violent Zizian cult based their at least 6 violent murders partially on Roko’s Basilisk which means this idea has been hitlerizied. 

You will also notice that many people who believe in this story & many other stories like it do not have any Joy everlasting or peace or even basic pleasure in their lives. Take Mr. Yudkowksy as an example while he has surely ate there is no evidence he has ever drank or been merry there is no tangible reason to believe in not only Roko’s Basilisk but anything any so called rationalist believes.

Hunting Blind (Chapter 1)

 “Find the Scarlet Queen 

Kill the trillion concubines

 only to Scarlet Queen”

Charlie looks up confused “That’s all?……… we freestylin? Heh alright now your speaking my language”. The angel looked disapprovingly at Charlie as the portal shot out from below him……………………”AAAH F*ck f*ck…..ugh okay I got it” Charlie said stumbling as he pulled himself up from the rock he was dumped onto,  dusting off his jeans. “Alright Scarlet Queen. Not much scarlet round here” he said scanning around the ground suddenly his head pops up & he sees a sprawling rickety camp  “…….okay yeah start there”. 

Charlie walked almost tripping multiple times through the dense brush finally making it to the camp. After only a moment a loud alarm that sounded like the air raid sirens they used to play over Los Angeles wrang out across the entire rickety camp “Intruder, Intruder” rang out on the intercoms  & 8 South Asian  men stream out nowhere with massive rifles two of them grabbed Charlie and pinned him to the ground. “Woah boys easy now I’m just a weary little hungry traveler looking for a friend”. Charlie tilts his head to the left & right. Crap this won’t be an easy one. The men without another word tie his hands with a coarse rope & hoist him up beginning to drag him & they drag him very far. They pass people milling around working these people are black and white clearly American. Many seem like lousy concubines even back in the Family Charlie wouldn’t get so desperate as to take in a great big negro fellow or an 11 year old. Whoever this Scarlet Queen is must be a creep. 

Finally they drag him into a big building & plop him on a rickety chair, one hollers “Boss trespasser”. A tall man with slick hair a light polo shirt turns around & looks right at Charlie “Alright, alright boys thank you let me handle him”. The 8 men file out of the thatch building as the man kneels down to Charlie’s level “Hi I’m Jim what brings you wandering here to our utopia”. Charlie Smirks “Oh I’m a poor little traveler I’ve been running around here so long I forgot my own name& my own family. I just need somebody anybody to help me to…..comfort me”. Jim looks a little shocked but then he smiles & hugs Charlie “Oh you’ve come to the perfect place”. Charlie silently grumbled, it’s not supposed to work that well, this guy is a total creep……….creep? Finally the scarlet queen. Jim finished the embrace & said “I think God led you hear traveler come on I want to show you your new home”. Charlie smiled “Oh I think I’m gonna have a lot of fun here”

Macau out to Vote!

 Across the small overseas possession of Macau voters came out today in one of the most contentious elections ever. Former Prime Minister Leonel Alberto Alves who swept back to power after his short Prime Ministerial term in 2005 in 2020 defeating the Socialist Party the only party with direct visible connections to a mainland Portuguese Party. Now with his first term coming to an end, nationalists have came out in force to replace him but serious divides within their ranks & a quickly rising middle ground bloc have seriously hurt their chances.

The pre campaign period was uniquely  tumultuous. Antonio Ng a longtime progressive leader in the Nationalist Party finally became fed up with Ho lon Sang and the Nationalist Party with the final straw currently unknown but widely thought to have been Sang’s opposition to a Cantonese Revolt in mainline China. Ng formed the Free Macanese Association a socially and economically liberal party with 2 other disgruntled Nationalist MP’s. Meanwhile the Middle Ground chunk of parliament a group of MP’s who was neither separatist nor nationalist & who broadly supported a strong amount of De Jure autonomy to go with the already significant amount of De-Facto autonomy granted to Macau by Portugal. The main new party within this bloc was founded just recently by businessman & philanthropist Chang Meng Kam an eccentric household name in Macau known for sponsoring nearly all art in the city state. He formed his own party to contest the 2021 elections winning 3 seats & was widely dismissed as simply running a vanity coalition of a few small neighborhood associations to check off a line in his bucket list but his party Forces of Macau has roared to prominence capitalizing off an immigration scare in 2024 though uniquely despite the party’s strong anti immigration stances they can much more be classified as centrist-populist. Kam has uniquely been the only party leader in most of Asia to endorse UBI, universal healthcare & a special tax in casinos to fund it all. 

This campaign has been defined by a few issues mainly immigration which has become a crucial wedge issue after 2 very high profile events when a 15 year old girl was raped  by 2 Indian migrants & then in response a nationalist group beat dozens Indian migrants & killed 3 of them. Public opinion was galvanized against migration but interestingly not down conservative lines. The parties that took the greatest advantage were all mostly moderate & even some liberals. Chang Meng Kam’s Forces of Macau capitalized on it the most unrealing a full plan for migration which included putting a moratorium on all migration from India & Bangladesh, increased inspections at ports & the automatic deportation of all criminals.

Macau heads to the polls this Thursday & we have only described some of their politics but this will surely be a consequential election. 

Burnham V. Art

 “Art is Dead” is a very bizarre song that simultaneously gets everything right about art & everything wrong about art. 

“Art is Dead” The song which it can be argued is the most well known of any of the works by Bo Burnham gets it’s title & main idea about art completely correct. Art is dead because art has never lived. Art is not an organism it is not an ecosystem it is not even truly a system. Art is simply the tender relationship between the creator and the consumer. The Tender relationship is all that art is & a tender relationship is not a living organism so in that aspect Mr. Burnham gets many things right. 

Mr. Burnham also makes  many extremely bizarre statements that are blatantly false such as his truly bizarre assertion “I am an artist, please God forgive me, I am an artist please don’t revere me, please don’t respect me, feel free to correct me” now this statement seems to suggest that Mr. Burnham has no concept of the tender relationship. An artist like a human must be forgiven by God yes but there is nothing interesting there, the assertion “please don’t revere me, please don’t respect me” also flies fully in the face of the Tender relationship as reverence and respect are relational ideas the only way to not be respected as an artist is to be an extreme absurdist like Greta Gerwig. Burnham also seems to have no idea that he is in a meaningful tender relationship with his listeners as he transitions from times of aggressive output to no output & seems to berate himself & anyone who ever cared for him in a wide variety of his songs.