The best blog on the internet for all your editorials, alternate histories and rare magazines!

Sunday, May 4, 2025

Perennial Candidate Chess

 Basil Marceux: “I move my Ogre to Q31”

President R19 Boddie Yashua: *Loses the game* “Well metaphysically  I won”

Don Grundmann: *Flips Board* “you lose by winning”

Jeff Boss: *loses game* *doesn’t notice* “So anyway about 9/11”

Harry Braun: *Loses Game* “You know this would be a lot better of a game if we made these out of thorium” 

David Duke: “Don’t care what happens but I’m playing white”

Alan Keyes: *loses 19 games* “I’m so good at this”

Joe Schriner: *loses for a 10th time* “Ah well good game. Same time tommorow?”

Sam Sloan: *Starts game* “Uhhhhhhhhh okay so” *loses game*

John Jay Hooker: *loses game* “okay you were buying pawns”

Mike Schaefer: “Oh this is amazing” *loses game* “HAHA! WOO!”

Rocky De La Fuente: *Loses Game* “ah okay….lets try checkers”

Lyndon LaRouche: *loses game* “you snuck magnets in the board and in the pieces with your little Tongan friends who also ate my cat”

Jerome Segal: *Loses Game* “You know why do we need games for everything?” 

Keith Russell Judd: *Loses Game* “Pardon?” 

Augustus Sol Invictus: *Loses Game* “WHAT!?!? HOW! Ugh all that goat blood for nothing!”

Andy Martin: *Loses Game* “Okay but how do we know this was chess?”

John Taylor Bowles: *Loses Game* “I don’t even care” *starts crying* “your a Jew anyway”

Harold Stassen: *loses a 19th time* “Oh no no I can keep playing I don’t mind” *secretly this is all he lives for*

Jimmy McMillan: *loses the game* they charge two much for these things”

Zoltan Istvan: *Loses Game* “Oh that’s alright I’m better online you would be two we all would be better online”

Vermin Supreme: *Turns the board upside down and moves his bishop to the kitchen*

Peter Diamondstone: “No No No that’s not your piece in fact you don’t have any pieces neither do I we both win”

Kanye West: “This is a game? uhhh….” *Moves rook to R20 and starts playing We Are the World*

Jack Fellure: *has resigned for the last 19 games* “We need biblical standards”

John Hagelin: *Lets his time run out* *The pieces suddenly form a mandalas on their own*


No comments:

Post a Comment

What if China Stayed Christian? Part 1

  I think things would have been more chaotic especially around the time of the warlord era I don’t think you would see one unified China. T...